Boogie Nights

A sweary hyperactive maritime professional, really very keen on laughing a lot, doing their best to avoid all the trappings of societies' expectations by acting on impulse to any adventurous idea that wafts by. Let's go!

bienvenu, hola, ciao!

16 December 2008

Ice breaking

Ive never been on a boat capable of breaking ice before and had ice to actually break.

that's quite fun.
frosty morning 11/12/08 photo PC120097.jpg

hot n cold and running in water

Admin/Owner Options

this is the third winter I have been living on Honey Ryder, it feels like more.

The first two winters we had hardly any condensation at all, but this time, we are running in it.
every window and unprotected cupboard. We have the fire lit every day, its dries out some of the windows but it comes straight back the moment the temperature drops below tropical.

last winter I made the mistake of filling a cupboard and closing the door, when I decided to tidy the cupboard and find something one day, I realised everything was covered in mould! this year we have moisture absorbing sachets in the cupboards and all seems to be staying dry.

so Ive clearly moved the water out of the cupboards and onto the windows.
Not sure why this can be, other than maybe we have a water leak. the water pump is giving me the warning signal that something is not perfect with an occasional brrrp. just a little one but I remember last time we had that kind of noise occurring without using the taps, it turned out to be a seeping kitchen tap pipe.
SO the search has begun to find the drip.

cue sarcastic comments about Mr. X

30 September 2008

flashing by

As we get older life seems to speed up, it accelerates, and with each extra day that passes by the momentum gathers pace.
My work life is busier than ever and my home life is passing in a blur.

That is until we set off on another cruise.
[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p213/jaynetoyne/jayne01copy.jpg[/img]

[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p213/jaynetoyne/jayne02.jpg[/img]

it all suddenly sloooooowwwwwssss riiiiggghtttt doooowwwwnnn, and I feel like Im in a slow motion replay.
Ive seen these canals before, ive been through these locks before, Ive done all this before and its all the same as before at the same speed.

Walking pace.

[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p213/jaynetoyne/jayne03.jpg[/img]

So at the speed of walking pace I have relocated over the past few weeks from Rickmansworth, where I had grown rather fond of the trees I had to duck under on my way to the train station and the pretty mystery woman I saw on the train platform every day at the same time in the same place.
We moved gradually down the Grand Union, through London and paused at Camden. We had never stopped there before. It's a bit busy with trip boats, but dead handy for the shopping. So I shopped til my bank account almost dropped and then we moved on. My best friend was visiting from the north again, we have an uncanny habit of picking the same clothes to wear.
[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p213/jaynetoyne/jayne05.jpg[/img]

Victoria park, a quick bike ride to Brick lane for a curry, followed by a brief waking in the middle of the night to hear Mr X chucking his guts up, the Lamb he had was possibly not really Lamb, but some other furry rodent type alternative to keep the cost of meals down during the credit crunch.
anyway, we then headed down to limehouse for a little visit there, and a nice bike ride out to the Dartford crossing and the barrier.

no, not this barrier, the other barrier
[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p213/jaynetoyne/jayne04.jpg[/img]

[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p213/jaynetoyne/jayne06.jpg[/img]

Limehouse is a nice spot to head out from for an afternoon or night out as the DLR is so close.
[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p213/jaynetoyne/jayne07.jpg[/img]

This weekend we moved again up the River Lee, it took us eight hours which included a pub stop along the way and four trips down the weed/bag hatch,
We are now slowly making our way up the Lee again as I really like the river and although the boat is still for sale we imagine spending the winter on Honey Ryder before we find a buyer. The River Lee and Stort is a nice place to spend the winter I think.

So, nothing much to write home about, hence the lack of blog entries. No point boring the pants off y'all with small talk about the weather.

25 August 2008

A trip down the Thames

Its been years since I went down the thames, past parliament and under tower bridge, 12 years in fact.

So I was happy to help a friend who wanted an extra pair of hands due to a slightly incapacitated crew member. (the very same person who fell in the lock and is now nursing broken ribs and a snapped knee)

The cruise was lovely, turning left out of Brentford and heading to Limehouse. The tide was still on its way in, but being a neap was not very powerful. We punched the tide for a while before it turned and swept us a long at a decent 8mph pace. There was some nice swells from the other river craft, nothing went in through the front cratch though, thankfully for the broken crew member as she would have got a bit wet and those pots get a bit heavy when dunked in water.
The exciting part was the entry to Limehouse. this was the bit Ive been curious about. Ive never seen a narrowboat turn into the small inlet, Ive only heard stories.
Particularly stories about the northern wall being a bit of an unintended buffer for a lot of boats.

So the captain/skipper/owner was handed the tiller well before we needed to turn and I just stood on the back, gripping the roof and watching with delight and some small amounts of concern as we turned, started wallowing around in the turbulence, the flow took as sideways as planned but not quite enough so a bit of adjustment ( reversing) to avoid the eddy in the entrance and some large amounts of welly again and she just turned in time to avoid the notorious wall and enter the lock nicely.

except a tupperware boat had bombed up ahead of us thinking they were beating us to the lock... not a good move when you think about it. they were waiting in the lock... for a 60ft metal torpeado everso slightly going fast and everso slightly crab wise.
I know if it had been my tupperware boat I would have said, "no after you sir" let the metal boat go in first then popped myself in when I was sure it was well secured inside the lock.
So with me not knowing the boat and its foibles, getting out of the cratch, climbing over the broken crew member and trying to get the front rope in time to grab the lock sliding cable was a bit of a failure. I got out alright but not before the boat had slewed across the lock and was threatening to crush said tupperware.
not the best of manouvers on my behalf but the lock keeper threw me a wee line to pull mine up with and we were sorted.
Those limehouse lockies are nice chaps.

The fun continued when trying to leave the lock the engine wouldnt start, due to a blocked fuel filter from all the turbulence on the way down.
So my final parting gesture before leaving them to go to work, was man hauling the boat out of the lock to tie up in the basin.
It seems that part of the canal system is intent on seeing me bow haul narrowboats nearly every time I visit it!

So, what a cracking cruise, great fun but Im not in a hurry to do the same with my own boat. I quite like the idea of taking my time through london on the canals. Narrowboats, choppy water and narrow lock entrances are only for those braver than me I think.

[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p213/jaynetoyne/IMG00067.jpg[/img]

12 August 2008

lucky escape

this is anecdotal and I dont have eyewitness levels of accuracy about this next entry but stick with it...

It was Sunday, I was expecting some friends on a boat who I met last year on the river Lee, they are a lovely couple and perhaps the only real boaty friends Ive made apart from the french yaching couple I met in Limehouse basin over the winter.

Anyway, this couple, I shall call them Mr n Ms Axe. They are heading up to a dry dock somewhere past Watford, so planned to meet up with me as I am just over at Rickmansworth at the moment.
Sunday I sent a text to see if they were on schedule and did they want anything from Tesco...

no reply. thats alright though, thats often the way, people are outside, locking, chatting etc, not listening for a phone.
later in the day I was wondering where they might be when I got a phone call from Ms Axe.

"the Plan isnt going exactly to plan... "

I said, "oh yeah thats narrowboating for you, where have you got to?"

"well, I fell in..."

"No shit! you fell in, well hows that stopped proceedings?" sounding bolshy and about to poke fun.

"I fell in a lock at the flight"

suddenly genuinely concerned"Holy shit, what the hell happened?"

" I was ahead of the boat, preparing the next lock and as I crossed the top gate i looked down and my foot went down a gap in the rails where the paddles go...."


gasp....then silence...

"then I got sucked under and went through the channel with the water flow..."


at this point I had to sit down and asked "what you mean you went through where the paddles open?"

"yes, and somehow, I dont know how, but Im still alive, My knee was dislocated and I think I chipped a bone but apart from that Im alright. maybe you could call and let him know Im alright, XXXXX XXXX etc"

After I managed to remove my heart from my mouth I gave him a call and he was as shaken as anything, but had had to leave at the hospital once he knew she wasn't in a life threatening way so that he could move the boat to a safer place.

Now I can't wait to see them both again to give them a hug and tell them how glad I am to have them as friends, it's moments like this that reminds me, you never know when your time is up, one small slip, one lapse of concentration, and its curtains.

I never knew anyone who fell in like that and survived.

the Refrigedaire experiment


Coming back from holiday nearly two weeks ago I was faced with a decision, 

Turn the fridge back on, or not?

If I turn the fridge on, I know that I need to charge the batteries almost daily which is expensive and annoying.  If not, well, could I live without a fridge? Warm sour milk for breakfast, cheese crawling out on its own, limp lettuce and other delicacies I'd rather not risk.
 
I decided to plump for the living without a fridge option.

Surprisingly it hasn't been as hard as I thought it might be. The fridge is still a fairly cool place to keep stuff as part of it is below the water line so it's a bit cooler down there, also the weather hasn't exactly been roasting.
So what in fact do I need a fridge for? I worked out that the butter ( at less than £1 per pack) and soya milk ( £2 for a 1ltr carton) plus odd bits of cheese and salad were costing me around a pound a day in fuel, charging the batteries to keep them cool.
Turn the fridge off and I only need to charge the batteries once per week. I'm saving £5 in fuel per week at the moment, but what have I sacrificed and is it worth it?

In short, I've sacrificed bugger all! Ok, I haven't bothered buying butter in as I use so little of it but the rest, well, my soya milk keeps perfectly ok in a cool area for three days, my vegetables and fruit are all the same. In fact nothing I use actually needs a refrigerator, as long as I buy fresh little and often who needs a fridge? Not me. I'm feeling smug. Can you tell?
 
It's quite a revelation, watching food, waiting to see how long it will last un-refrigerated. So far humous has been the shortest lived at three days when it started to go furry, but by that time I'd managed to scoff most of it. Cucumber lasts at least 5 days. So does Soya milk.
 
Drinking red wine instead of white is apparently more healthy for me too, so hurray for not switching my fridge back on.
My neighbours ( if I had any) would probably thank me too for this experiment as it means I don't risk breaking any waterways rules for the hours I run my gennie or engine at.
 
The only downside I can possibly see is the fact that if I buy ice cream I have to eat the entire tub... which is no good for my healthy eating regime.

05 August 2008

barge poles

I returned home last night to see my boat not quite as i left it.

my barge pole had moved and was resting in a very strange place. I wandered around the roof looking down at the scene trying to work out why someone would move my pole and leave it in such a strange place when my questions were answered by a neighbour who trotted down the towpath to talk to me.

apparently my boat had come adrift and he had to punt it back to the side with my pole.

you could say i should have hammered my stakes in harder, or tied my ropes better, but in fact what had happened was a boat went past so fast it completely bent my piling hook straight and ripped it off the wall. Brilliant.
SO ive now got 3 bank stakes hammered in with nicely tied ropes and a straightened hook on the back of the boat looking useless.

I dont normally comment on fast boaters, but it must have been something special to rip that out.
thanks to neighbourly neighbours for putting it back yesterday.

I hope its still there when I get back tonight.

16 July 2008

Bye bye tangarine speedo

Ah, the little orange dream that has trundled behind Honey Ryder over the past year has got a new home to go to.

its carried our water from obscure water points, its carried me to the supermarket, its taken me across limehouse basin to visit friends in the marina, we've rowed in the oddest of positions, weve slipped about inside when its icy cold and Ive bailed out gallons and gallons of rain water.
Its been home to a stray cat on the roof, ducks have cadged a lift in it and its been used as a floating shed at times.
Its caused worrying moments in the odd lock and not to mention that jetty that "jumped" out at us in the aforementioned limehouse basin. You bear the scar well tango.

It recently went into action when the boot top needed painting black and now, now its time to say ta ta me old fruit.

its been special.

[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p213/jaynetoyne/P6150081.jpg[/img]

14 July 2008

slow down

I got told to slow down for the first time this weekend. Yay!

I was cruising past moored boats into my own mooring spot. I say my own, I mean a place at the side of the canal I have claimed as mine for the next few days.
So this chap reckoned I was going too fast. yeah, the crazy speed demon I am was approaching the bank at, oh, 3mph i think, yeah the granny on the tow path was going faster.
I tried to point out I was actually slowing down to a stop, but because I was doing this in my own, er, slightly fruitfully foul mouthed way, even Mr X told me not to upset the man and make the engine go quieter so onlookers would think I was slowing down.

The boat is still for sale. we've had a few bilge kickers but nothing solid yet. most people are just curious and want to have a look around. they want to know what a reverse layout looks like, or how a cross double works.
here's the layout of honey ryder for anyone interested. I havent marked on where we stash our drugs, money or illegal immigrants. thats a secret.

[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p213/jaynetoyne/Honey%20Ryder/boatplan.jpg[/img]

we are in no rush to sell though, the more we stay on the narrowboat, the better yacht we will be able to afford in the future because we save so much by being on the NB and CC'ing.

has anyone else noticed how vicious coots are?

30 June 2008

no news is good news

Its been all quiet on the boat this month, the new black box is fitted, my wallet is £850 lighter.
[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p213/jaynetoyne/P6150087.jpg[/img]
The new box, although it looks identical to the one it's replaced, is in fact far better than the old one. Its more efficient and works slightly differently. It's been a blessing in disguise really, although it's been an expensive blessing.
The charger uses less power on start up which means we can charge directly from our small gennie via the shore power socket. We used to have to run the engine for a bit to boost the charging power for the old one before we could let the gennie go solo.

My motorbike has now developed a small clutch problem and my car is still at the menders after being smashed nearly two months ago.

we are moored up at Batchworth visitor moorings for the moment and enjoying the view over the fields and cheap and easy trains to work.
It's also just withing cycling distance so I gave that a go last week. My legs are still recovering after the 25 mile ride on a fixed bike. Im ashamed how unfit I have become.

This coming weekend Im hoping to head out to the London Pride parade, plus the Ware festival. There's also a mad cartwheeling thing happening over the millenium bridge so I might just have to go and watch that too.
My usual compadré has decided the long trip south for the parade isn't worth the effort so it looks like Im going alone unless anyone out there wants to join me for a bit of cheesy dancing in the street.

07 June 2008

bang bang, I shot you down, bang bang

It was wednesday morning, I was doing the usual getting up and going to work routine and decided to run the washing machine as I was down to my last pair of bloomers.

switch on the engine. eat some breakfast at the same time, wait for it to warm up a bit, load the washing machine, chuck the soap in the drawer, switch the travel power on, green light... then switch over the main power switch to activate the 240v system.
ive done this, oh... so many times and I know the routine.

this routine was rudely changed however when I first heard a louder than usual buzzing from the inverter/charger... my not completely awake mind noted that fact and was trying to think why that might be. the buzzing lasted perhaps 1 or 2 seconds and as my mind was slowly catching up, with eyes cast in the direction of the AC-in light waiting/hoping/wishing for it to go green, the whole charger unit seemed to pulse at me and go with an almighty bang, followed by another.
As I was standing the obligatory narrowboat distance away from it... 18inches max, I felt the noise wave before it registered with my still waking up ( rather quicker than usual) brain and I heard it.

Immediate reaction, let out a mild scream of "aah!"
secondary reaction, switch of the main power switch with a perspiring hand.
third reaction, smell the air for burning.

Never have I perspired so spontaneously, it's been a long time since anything made me er, scream like a girl.

it was a good adrenalin rush, but an expensive one. After a days internet researching, I found a company who services and replaces heart interface units and I was told, "since the unit is 12 years old, you may as well replace it"

£852 for a new heart interface/xantrex freedom combi 20.

Bang goes my savings this month for the next boat
Bang goes my freetime at the weekend as it will be spent down the launderette.

20 May 2008

The sound of silence and extra ballast

Dear readers out there, you may have read about my crime ridden 2007, having a push-bike stolen off the roof of the boat last april was the start of it, followed by having another push-bike stolen from where I work.

followed by, and not necessarily in the right order: having my car broken into at Tottenham, having a friends car broken into next to mine at Cheshunt, watching kids rifling through a stolen handbag and reporting it to not very interested police, my flat was burgled in Croydon, my friends car in East London had paint stripper thrown over it a month or so ago and now it comes back to me.
I had my car broken into - again. Different car, different location ( Springfield -so not far from Tottenham) this time my window was smashed and my dashboard ripped apart to remove a nissan branded stereo, specific to my car only and a nissan branded dvd sat nav that speaks only japanese. they also took my driving glasses and some home made mini disks. Bravo brave theif, Bra-fucking-vo.
nice haul you took there, worth Zero pounds to anyone but me.

Im a little paranoid about theft at the best of times but it still happens regardless if you worry about it or not. I don't know if people who worry about crime less have more or less crime happen to them, Im thinking of trying not to worry about it anymore. Im insured comprehensively but even my insurance doesn't really cover it fully and I have to shell out a weeks wages in excess to get it fixed, and lose most of my no claims.
As my car is a japanese import I have to wait ages for some glass to arrive and for the moment Im driving round with a non-opening plexiglass window.

Just what you want when driving to france, as was my plans last week.
12 hours of driving (each way) with no stereo and a window that doesnt open.

Having driven to france and dropped off a load of excess baggage belonging to Mr X we returned with an equally full car but this time is was mostly consumable. The suspension was creaking a bit and we've had to spread it around the boat to stop us from listing too much.

to add to my annoyance last week, on top of the car being broken I also bruised my ego last week by falling off my motorbike on the way to work.
I was casually cruising through mostly static traffic queuing on the A40, then Wham! my hand guard caught the back of a transit pick-up. I haven't quite adjusted myself to the width of the bars, so a gap I could have cruised through before with my previous bikes presented itself as a bit of a challenge. Clipping the back of the pick-up sent me off to the side and seeing a nice shiny Audi in front of me I opted for the lower cost option of not claiming on insurance and putting my bike unceremoniously on the floor. I jumped up and saluted the van driver I had fallen in front of and winked. He jumped out, helped me pick the bike up and wheeled it to the side. the Audi driver seemed most concerned about me and was worried I might be hurt, or perhaps the bike was damaged. Since the bike is pretty much designed to fall over without being damaged I wasn't worried at all. There was a nice rubber mark on his car though where my front wheel, er kissed his bumper.

The next day I had the mother of all bruises appear on my thigh from where the bar had swung round and hit me. I felt nothing at the time.

The boat is now over at West Drayton awaiting a weekend when we can cruise it up to Rickmansworth. I've had it up to ya-ya with London and its crime ridden streets.

30 April 2008

farty


I came back from a weekend away, stepped on board to unlock the doors and the action of me tipping the boat a bit to one side allowed one "cheek" to come up a bit and release a whole barrage of bubbles from the nether regions.
It rather amused me, though I am a fan of toilet humour.

the other fun stuff this week is that I accidentally bought a new motorbike. I was just bidding away on ebay, you know how it is, drop in a silly bid occasionally and try your luck at getting something for not a lot.
Well, no-one else bid so I've ended up buying a bike.
Brilliant. Especially as I have been pining away wanting a bike for the last couple of months.





24 April 2008

persuasion pays off

It's been weeks, no months now that I have been persuading the Mr X that buying a yacht would be a great idea.

At first he was a definite no, based on the fact that he had no reason but thought if we haven't enjoyed narrowboating then why would be enjoy sailing? Plus he wanted to go back to France.

Then he started to warm a little to the idea when I said I don't ever want to get to a point in my life where I have regretted NOT doing something.

Then I imparted my thoughts that if we went through life not doing things because we might not like it then we might not do very much at all. This was stacking up well in my favour as he was definitely coming round to the fact he has little choice in the matter.

Several more weeks of persuasion, followed by a visit to the excel boat show really got him excited about the prospect of downsizing and living in a smaller but wider boat that could, I say COULD, not necessarily WOULD, travel the world.

The final nails in the coffin of doubt were hammered in when we found some new friends moored up in Limehouse basin. They live on a yacht, they are French and they are slowly travelling the world. They are our age, they have a lovely boat called Cool Daddy.

Now the Man has gone to France and seen some of his contacts over there in Brest and I think they have all echoed my sentiments of what a bloody great idea it is, especially when he has the opportunity of a woman who can "keep" him if needs be and he can do one of his favourite things... which happens to be sailing.

I had a call yesterday from France asking if I have sold the narrowboat yet...
er no, not yet, I'm busy living on it I tell him. So it looks like I need to get my camera out and capture my home in some good light to start advertising it. The only thing I'm a bit worried about is the bit between not having a narrowboat and finding a yacht good enough to live on.

Caravan? Motorhome? Crash at a friends place? The thought of that is more scary than giving up my job in a year or so's time to bugger off sailing!

22 April 2008

slippery when wet

It's been a quiet past couple of weeks, having friends to visit has been the highlights of my weekends.

This coming weekend Im off to the Beaulieu boat jumble to help my folks shift their last load of old chandlery stock. There's some amazing bargains to be had, it's well worth a visit if you need anything for your fit out or indeed if you don't need anything but quite like the push n shove of a good old free-for-all boat jumble. I just hope the sun shines otherwise it could be a mud bath.

I've been having a serious de-clutter again. if it's not nailed down or currently in use then chances are it will be sold if it hasn't been already.
The plan to down-size to a 10-11m yacht from a 17m narrowboat is seriously testing my ability to pare down from already minimalist belongings. Finding creative and more compact ways of storing all my shite is almost an art-form in itself. However difficult it is getting, perversely I actually enjoy it. The less I have around me the happier I seem to feel. But at this rate I will never manage to reduce my storage unit size. Anything Im not sure about goes in there like a holding pen. If I can live without it for long enough then it goes, no matter how attached I am to it.

A friend asked me this weekend, what do I miss the most about living on a boat compared with living in a house? After a few moments of deep thought my answers were, instant hot running water( ie spontaneous showers), a heater that doesn't give me asthma and the time to do all the other stuff I love so much (such as velodrome coaching and racing, cycling out for a swift 50 miles on a saturday or sunday morning, riding my motorbike around country roads or taking it to track days, roller blading for hours on end) because I have to constantly think about moving the boat, filling the water tank, emptying the toilet, charging the batteries since I dont have a mooring and refuse to pay to keep it in a narrowboat pack'em in style marina. it's a general feeling of being unsettled but stuck in the same 50 mile radius due to work commitments. The chance to hang around an area for three months at a time is actually quite appealing. The chance to be able to leave the boat safe in the knowledge it will probably be where we left it when we get back is also very appealing.
I think it's fair to say that living on a boat in my current situation has been very bad for my health, I have worse asthma due to the coal fire and sheer amount of dust it produces and I've put weight on due to being unable to exersise properly or be able to breath to exersise very much at all. I have eaten terrible food because I'm too tired after long commutes to eat properly.
You could argue if I really wanted to, I could find a way around each of these problems, but the fact is I haven't. Despite the best of intentions.
The easy answer is, go and live in a marina.

It's also starting to get my goat in a gruff each time I see people debating the big "continuous cruiser/moorer" argument.
Im sick of the idle snake-tongued talk of ruling the waterways with an iron clad fist of vigilante-ism. Stop wasting your breath on the same tired subject. Constant cruisers or not, who the fuck cares?

perhaps my dog should be licenced or have some sort of paddling permit? He decided he would take a dip in the river at the weekend.
I just arrived home and was in the living room when I heard a rather ominous Ploof ploof ploof ploof ploof ploof noise. That was the sound a chihuahua makes when doing the doggy paddle in the 5" gap between the boat and the bank. Somehow my unbelievably stupid dog managed to slip down the gap and proceed to snort and panic in the cold water. I dashed out to see his eyes on stalks and immediately stooped to my knees to scoop the little fella out but he was having none of it, as I held the boat away from the bank to avoid him being crushed he saw daylight and made a dash for it. Paddling around the back of the boat he put himself out of arms reach and continued to swerve around the rudder and aimed for the side of the boat away from the bank. By this time I'm getting worried he's been in the water a long time for such a small animal, so I jumped into the dinghy, which caused a ripple that nearly sent him under. All he had on was his collar, which thankfully didn't snap his neck as I pulled him out and plonked him unceremoniously on the back of the boat. Dripping wet from neck to tail but still with a fluffy head as he managed to keep that airside.

15 April 2008

found


the remote control.

its been missing since november 2007, ive looked under the sofa 10 times at least, down the side of the cushions, in the fridge, in the dogs bed, under my bed, in my knicker drawer, in every nook and bloody cranny this boat has to offer.

do you know where i found it?

under the sofa.

14 April 2008

time out with friends



it was the northern posse on cruise patrol this weekend.

a couple of friends toddled on down from the north, to visit me, the dog and the boat this weekend.
after insisting on me giving them a postcode of my location (on the river Lee, near cheshunt in herfordshire was apparently not good enough)
they found themselves 20 miles adrift somewhere inside the M25 near to the olympic development site. Twat-Nav is a splendid device, especially when you put the wrong postcode in. After a few minutes of me explaining that cheshunt really is OUTSIDE the M25, please believe me and look at a map, no not the twat-nav...
they arrived thankfully with sunshine and smiles.

a quick tour of the boat, yes mind your head, this is the kitchen, living room, you might want to shuffle sideways, this is the throne room and there is the bedroom. there ya go, that was quick.

we decided on a little cruise up the lee past Broxbourne, I've done it on my own last year but fuck me those lock gates are heavy buggers to move, I had cast that memory from my mind and filed it in the rose tinted section.

its amazing how two extra pairs of hands make locking a bloody doddle and a piece of piss. we arrived at a lovely spot over looking a sailing lake, very peaceful and it seemed far removed from the wailing non-stop sirens of london. It was simply blissful. I have now added it to my very small list of places I actually like.
I can honestly say it is perhaps one of the best weekends Ive had on this boat so far.

thankyou to my friends for taking time out to visit. it means a lot to me.

one comment sprang to mind, one friend asks, as a day boat goes past and the occupants keep looking at us all the way past and off into the distance, she said, "what are they looking at?", perhaps sounding a little threatened or indignant. I replied, "Oh people do that, it's normal, just wave back and smile". On a boat you are a tourist attraction and therefore fair game to stare at. I said "they probably would ask questions if only we would go slow enough..." questions such as: do you live on that: how much do they cost: where do you moor it: do you have to book in advance: can I come inside and have a look around: can I take my picture with your dog...
It had been a whole week since I was asked a stupid question or stared at, I was starting to become worried.

04 April 2008

welcome to the zoo

I am fed up of being treated like a freak show, I think I shall put a message for all to read upon my roof ( apart from a for sale sign that is)


If you want to have your picture taken on someone's boat, first make friends with the owner.
Don't just climb on while Im having my breakfast and let you mate snap away from the towpath. Cheeky bastard.

If you want to have a look around my boat, my home, then get to know me first and wait to be invited.
Don't peer through the windows and stare intently at my homes interior and all its belongings. If you should see me looking back at you, at least have the decency to walk on and pretend you weren't looking.... Don't keep staring you nosey twat.

When you see a cute chihuahua in a lifejacket on the roof of my house, don't assume he likes having his picture taken (£1 per picture, strokes cost extra). When you ask if you can stroke him and I say he might bike, Don't act all fucking surprised when he tries to rip your nose off because you smell funny. He's just protecting his own furry ass and being small he's got a big attitude.

If you don't like the cut of my Jib, the strong language or short temper, then stop asking me stupid bloody questions all the time and give me some sodding privacy.

thank you and welcome to the stinking canals, have a nice day.

feel the pressure

It's quite a simple, logical water system on Honey Ryder, but logic evaded my helpful, well meaning little hobbit friend as he tried to do a job we have performed several times together like clockwork, but, alas, working alone he forgot when to do what and why and it all went a bit tits-up.

what happens every four months or so is that our accumulator needs a bit of air adding to it to keep the water pump churning away at a nice leisurely Brrrrrrrrrr Brrrrrrrrrrrr, rather than a staccato sounding Brr Brr Brr Brr Brr
its an easy job; switch off the water; switch off the pump; find a bicycle pump; open a tap; attach the pump to the valve on the accumulator and pump two or three times to remove a little bit of water; switch off the tap; resume pumping with the bicycle pump until it goes firm. switch on the water, switch on the pump. Open a tap and see if you have the pressure right by listening to the pump, hopefully purring away like a happy cat.

It is best to avoid this sequence: switch off the water, go and open a tap, switch off the tap, go and switch off the pump, come back and open a tap, pump the accumulator continuously until you get confused why it wont go firm, go and close the tap, come back and resume pumping, get bored of that, switch the pump on, water on and then panic and switch it all off again when the pump makes a very bad B B B B B B B B B B noise. try pumping the accumulator some more, try as many different combinations of the above possible. give up and go out for a meal with partner, look sheepish on arrival home and then wait until midnight just before going to bed to spring the good news to the unsuspecting.

after a few choice cross words, I knelt on my knees with my head pointing into the water pump hole, praying to the boat-maintenance-god that we hadn't actually permanently fucked anything and hoping that my weekend wouldn't be spent visiting chandleries for replacement parts. several minutes more of sitting on the bed looking at the stricken pump, accumulator and dismantled panels with head to one side like a dog that just heard a funny sound, I resolved to go to bed and have a little think about it.

32 hours later the answer came to me, let the bloody air out of the accumulator. Eureka.

26 March 2008

Entry one moment in time



as a photographer currently without a decent camera, I do see some picture opportunities simply pass me by without a chance to capture the moment.
its frustrating.

so I keep my trusty compact with me and occasionally I see a subject not too challenging for its meagre pixels.

sometimes if you squint enough, even the shit holes of london can look quite nice.

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