Boogie Nights

A sweary hyperactive maritime professional, really very keen on laughing a lot, doing their best to avoid all the trappings of societies' expectations by acting on impulse to any adventurous idea that wafts by. Let's go!

bienvenu, hola, ciao!

04 April 2008

welcome to the zoo

I am fed up of being treated like a freak show, I think I shall put a message for all to read upon my roof ( apart from a for sale sign that is)


If you want to have your picture taken on someone's boat, first make friends with the owner.
Don't just climb on while Im having my breakfast and let you mate snap away from the towpath. Cheeky bastard.

If you want to have a look around my boat, my home, then get to know me first and wait to be invited.
Don't peer through the windows and stare intently at my homes interior and all its belongings. If you should see me looking back at you, at least have the decency to walk on and pretend you weren't looking.... Don't keep staring you nosey twat.

When you see a cute chihuahua in a lifejacket on the roof of my house, don't assume he likes having his picture taken (£1 per picture, strokes cost extra). When you ask if you can stroke him and I say he might bike, Don't act all fucking surprised when he tries to rip your nose off because you smell funny. He's just protecting his own furry ass and being small he's got a big attitude.

If you don't like the cut of my Jib, the strong language or short temper, then stop asking me stupid bloody questions all the time and give me some sodding privacy.

thank you and welcome to the stinking canals, have a nice day.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Search for a specific article