feeling a bit tan-tastic

feeling a bit tan-tastic

Email this entry | Print this entry Apr 30 2007, 10:39 AM

Ive got my new dinghy! hurray.

I arrived in Cornwall at 4.30pm (after first driving to stansted airport and then to croydon and then back to harefield) to collect my new dinghy. Its a smart little thing, called a Minipram, it was made in the 70's for the lady i bought it from. She gave me home made cake and chocolate chip biscuits and a drink of fruity squash. With the dinghy and launching trolley strapped to the roof of my car and my wallet £100 lighter i was on my way again. Now if only all ebay transactions were like that!
the day wasn't over yet though as the next stop was Beaulieu, a night stop over in my folks caravan parked up in the new forest and then an early start to get their stall set up for the boat jumble.
a very busy day of getting sun burnt, sweaty and then very very sleepy followed.

a good day all round though, and i came home with some bargains.
I bought a long length of chain to lock up the dinghy, asking price, £14, i haggled them down to £10
a couple of hanks of rope for my sea searcher magnet and dinghy, £7
some new bungee canopy things £4
a pair of small binoculars, 10 x 40, should have been £28 but i only had £22 left in my wallet so the chap accepted that.

I also sold the launching trolley that came with my new dinghy as theres no need for one of those on the canal. £15 back in the kitty, making the boat an even better bargain than before.

SO, feeling burnt to a crisp and thoroughly knackered I still had to drive 120 miles back to the boat.

Arriving back at 11pm, i was rejuvenated by the fresh cool air and decided to tackle removing the dinghy on my own in the dark.
it goes something like this,
4 tie down straps off,
wiggle dinghy a bit,
stand back to have a think about it
go back and rock the dinghy a bit more
shuffle it so its sideways on the car, supported by just one inflatable rack strap
slide it carefully on its runner on the canvass of the roof rack and gradually bring the dinghy down the side of the car
pause to panic for a moment that it might smash the rear door glass,
think, sod it Im tired and I want to go to bed.
30 seconds later its on the floor by the side of the car,
car is now sporting a nice scratch and dint on the window trim. that was a close one clyde.

the dinghy has an attachable transom wheel but its so old and stiff I couldnt get it to work. this meant dragging my new tangerine speedo carefully on its metal runners, down a rubbly path and onto the tow path. Theres some grass there which made dragging it a bit quieter as I need to get it past a boat before I could chuck it in the water.

I couldnt believe no one batted an eyelid to see some person dragging this dinghy around at midnight. even the boat i passed within a couple of meters of didnt stir, not a single curtain twitch.

So, a few nervous minutes later its pushed off the side of the canal and into the water,
I peered into the dark with my windup torch, heart in my mouth as I shone the light onto the freshly installed drain bung.....
the silence was almost overwhelming and the water in the canal looked earily black.
I put all the paraphernalia inside the dinghy and walked it down the bankside back to the big boat.

The batteries were almost dead on Big boat after a weekend without any charge and our hungry amp-munching fridge had chomped away at almost every last bit. So the wind up torch went to bed with me and I woke up this morning at 6am to start the engine and charge the batteries.

I peered out of the window anxiously expecting to see the dinghy half full of water, but it was still there, sitting pretty without a drop of water inside.
unfortunately Ive got a day job so Ive got to wait a few hours now before I can take it for a paddle

I cant wait to get home, to go out and play in it!

Dinghy love and driving without a licence

Dinghy love and driving without a licence

Email this entry | Print this entry Apr 16 2007, 12:38 PM

Ive just bought another boat, ok its only a little dinghy but im quite excited. The good old Fl'eabay rides again, and mines a little redish orangey thing coming in at just under 8' and weighing in at around 30kilos.

So its in the bantam weight category. The only slight snag is that I have to drive to cornwall to collect it. thatll be a 500 mile round trip!
Im going to collect it in a couple of weeks, I havent told "the grumpy man" yet because i dont want to make him unnecessarily grumpy, there will be plenty of that when he comes back from a trip away and sees this little puppy tied up to the back or side of "big boat"
Im not sure what the reaction will be, but i thought bollocks to it, I want a dinghy, Im having a dinghy. plus it was cheap and if I do it up a bit i recon I could flog it for more than ive paid.



so, it was another glorious weekend of sunshine, looking for a winding point, filling the water tank, washing the boat ( and the dog), revving the tits off the engine to run the travel power outside a pub at lunchtime for half an hour while the washing machine did its job....
and the inevitable encounters with MENTALLIST narrowboaters who cant steer to save their lives.

Why do I get them? I mean, Im chugging along passing some moored boats minding my own business, having just executed the most perfect turning maneuver ive ever done, standing higher than normal on a rear locker to get a better view of a boat passing under a narrow bridge coming towards me, ive dropped to a dead slow speed waiting for him to resume normal position, but in fact hes heading directly for me. At this point Im gently applying reverse thinking, WTF is going on?... Ive got the grumpy man on the roof partially blocking my view and then he turns and shouts at me... "what are you doing" and I say "Im not sure what is happening here, this bloke is heading straight for me. "
the reply was "cant you see he's got his arm out indicating?"
"er no, your fat arse is blocking my view, I cant actually see the other driver very clearly, besides, where can he be wanting to go? theres no gaps on the side and its impossible to double up here"

Some amused gongoozlers sitting on one of the moored boats just to my right commented, "ah yes, he's got a mooring just up there" So I turn around to have a look where "just up there" is and its nearly 1/4 of a mile away!
WHAT? He needs to drive down the wrong side of a narrow section so he can moor up in 1/4 of a mile? learn to fucking drive you numpty.

So after much cursing to myself, I reverse up in front of a small protected weir ( the only gap in the boats available) while the mentallist goes past to begin his final descent to his mooring spot, flaps down, roger roger, with the seatbelt sign clearly displaying over head. Wind speed 2mph.
With the canal ahead of me now clear I return to my originally planned route, under the bridge. I then turned to see how the slightly out of control boat was getting on, and Im glad I wasnt the owner of the small plastic cruiser directly before his mooring spot as it got a bit of a hammering.

It really is a pet hate of mine, to see people driving their boats like cars. It just doesn't work. I dont know why there isnt some sort of competence test, or a CBT (compulsory basic training) for the canals/rivers.

after the waterpoint lunchtime engine revving washing machine situation, we are now seriously looking for some better sound proofing! ( or a silent generator)
we are also looking into solar power and a wind turbine to help keep the batteries topped up.
The boiler is still out of action due to a small, so far hard to discover exactly where its coming from, leak.

we are currently moored opposite one of the most gorgeous dutch sailing barges ive seen so far on this stretch of the canal. I absolutely love them and would trade our ditch crawler in like a flash if I could afford one.

the best laid plans....

the best laid plans....

Email this entry | Print this entry Apr 8 2007, 07:26 PM

SO here we go, its t-minus "lets get the fek outta here" 5 minutes to freedom....

im up early, im fresh and clean and ready to go,
the preparations have taken us 3 months, ok we're lazy buggers and it could have been done in a couple of weeks but hey c'mon this narrowboating.

-Bottom painted, check

-engine serviced,check

-boiler fixed... er, kindof but no... we still have a small leak,... it'll be rate.

-all tanks full with fuel and water,check

-are we wearing sunglasses, check

time to start the engine.

NOoooooo, it gives a feeble attempt to turn over but theres simply not enough power to start her up.

Penton Hook still has us by the bollocks, determined to break its stranglehold on us we pop the bonet and have a look at the heart of the beast to see whats gone awry since yesterday.
after running back to the car for the jump leads we jump start from the domestic batteries and see that the engine is running perfectly still. it seem s that the alternator isnt charging. however when we bridge a contact between the two terminals ( visible in the picture) on the back of the alternator it kicks in and starts working. so it may be we have a duff regulator or a bad connection somewhere.
anyway, its working in a fashion and we decide to go with what we've got and hit that minty waterway.


apparently my other half thinks that the boat is in fact mine so he insists I do all the driving. something Im a bit nervous about since Ive never driven a narrowboat anywhere before other than inside the marina. actually its a bloody doddle. I dont know what all the fuss is about.


The thames is quite a nice place when its not flooding, its wide, theres plenty of action and wildlife to look at. But this easter weekend it seems not many people want to head down the river... everyone is heading UP. do they know something we dont?
Its a hard place to find moorings though, safe moorings that you dont need to pay for and dont involve mooring immediately outside a pub.
we found this little spot opposite a rowing and canoing club. it was rocky though and couldnt get very close to the side. there was another narrowboat immediately behind us and that seemed to have no problems which leads me to think maybe we are deeper draughted.


One thing that strikes me about the thames is all the sunken boats. They just seem to lay there looking sorry for themselves and no one cares or can be bothered to fish them out or repair them.

So we arrived in teddington quite late on friday night after our delayed start. the next days start time was 6am to catch the high tide down to Brentford.
For those lazy sods out there who cant be arsed with early mornings, heres a few pics to show you what you are missing.
Again we were the only boat on the Thames actually moving and its a magical 1 hour in the mist.



the famous shanty shack at twickenham, as the sun rose, his place is positioned perfectly to catch the rays.


and then suddenly before we knew it, the sign for brentford.


and then the lock


and finally arriving on British waterways and the grand union


its so deceptive, you arrive into a lovely new basin at brentford, excellent facilities and shortly after that you arrive in what can only be described as the Devils Armpit. The canal from Brentford up until near to Uxbridge is one of the most dirty un-welcoming places ive ever encountered.
We made a long dash for it ( ha, like as if you can dash in these stupid ditch crawling narrowboats) all the way from brentford to Cowley North. the canal seems alot cleaner but its so popular up here, theres a constrant thrum of gennies and engines and the locals berating their children or something like that.

So we are moored at Cowley for the time being. my other half has been moody all day, abandoning me at one point leaving me to do it alone after he got angry that i repeated myself by telling him to open the side paddles before the gate paddles, such a small thing can lead to up to a week of misery with him being bad temptered. so im keeping my head down to avoid the verbal firing ground. Of course, me even writing this has pissed him off because Im not doing something "together" with him.
oh arses... sometimes I wish I was single again. life was much simpler.

When engine servicing goes bad

When engine servicing goes bad

Email this entry | Print this entry Apr 5 2007, 10:34 AM

It was a comedy of errors at the weekend breaking every rule in my own rule book.

my motto: Always be prepared and always carry a spare. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.
my partners motto: no fucking worries mate

DO: have a look around the engine, find all the numbers of consumables and order in advance so that all parts are ready for the service BEFORE you start.

Dont: poke your head in the engine compartment the day you want to do the service and quickly jot down any old number you can see.

DO: Investigate what tools you will need and have all tools ready and laid out in a neat orderly fashion

Dont: start the service then run backwards and forwards trying to find a tool to bodge the job

DO: warm the engine before removing anything then switch off the fuel

Dont: switch off the fuel, remove the diesel water trap then try to warm the engine... the engine will run for a few minutes, suck itself dry of fuel then be a right pig to get started as you have to prime it and bleed it first.

DO: remove all locks, undo taps, unscrew pump bungs before pumping out the oil

Dont: try forcing the pump to work with the bung still fitted as you may cause damage and pull a muscle

DO: make sure you absolutely have all the parts.. look under the engine for the oil filter etc

Dont: forget to look under the engine for the oil filter

DO: find a good source of parts in advance, record their numbers and opening times

Dont: try to get parts on a saturday afternoon in a one horse town

DO: save empty containers to dispose of the used oil responsibly

Dont: let your boyfriend put the old filters in a box and keep them " for just in case" in the engine room

DO: run the engine once everything is put back in place with the fuel turned back on. clear any air locks from the diesel by bleeding it. Record the engine hours in the service log book and record all consumables changed, along with their part numbers.
Check the oil level again and top up as necessary.

SO you see... its a simple as that.

Hell in a handbasket

Hell in a handbasket

Email this entry | Print this entry Apr 4 2007, 12:27 PM

What is happening to me? Am I in an alternative dimension or something?

I woke up this morning as I usually do on a wednesday by my bank text messaging me a summary of the weeks statement on my account... I spy an odd number and an unusually low bank account, whats this? I nip onto my internet banking only to find to my horror that someone is withdrawing money from my bank account, somewhere in Italy or Spain with a clone of my bank card.

So far around 700 euros... yes we arent talking fish and chip money here are we.

SO after a rapid call to my bank my card is stopped, and the fraud department are onto the thieving robbing bastards.

Feeling dirty and used I headed off for a posh shower in the marinas shower block and on my way there I crossed paths with a holidaying south african chap on a hire boat. He was chatty and friendly and was offering some kind of holiday swap with his holiday apartment on the south coast of africa, then the conversation turned sour as he started spouting off the injustices of the regime running in South Africa at the moment. As I mentioned I was planning a trip to Gambia this year this added fuel to his fire about his dislike of anyone other than White....I really cant repeat what he said as I feel offended just thinking about it, I started to feel very cold and I couldnt believe what I was hearing.
The conversation turned to hate of Muslims entering the UK and I became yet more dumbstruck, HOW is it possible that someone can be so inherantly racist and public about it?
He seemed blissfully ignorant to my protestations that Britain is actually a very healthy multicultural society and benefits from the variety of people living together. His talk of us becoming a beige society rang bells of the BNP party and fascism, I cant believe that I am living so close to a full on racist person, Im not sure I have ever met anyone so badly Xenophobic. I felt quite sick after making my excuses to get out of the conversation to have my much desired shower.

Why cant we all just get along together and live honest and peaceful lives? why do humans have to behave like savages despite their protestations of being the "superior being"

tonight I shall be mostly venting my anger at the boiler that still needs fixing and a new shelf in the bathroom cupboard.

Entry Lock stock and two secure doors

Lock stock and two secure doors

Email this entry | Print this entry Apr 2 2007, 01:44 PM

As our marina departure shuffles slowly closer we still have a few jobs to finish before we can actually really use all the boats facilities and a few security measures needed to be added.

Since we got the boat we havent been able to securely close the rear (main) doors when we are inside.

But NOT any more! this weekend there was drilling, a little bit of cursing and then a triumphant jumping up and down after bolting the doors closed for the first time.
Theres one mother-dandy of a bolt replacing the old wobbly job from before plus a nice locking yale bolt too. A herd of small elephants could go rushing at the doors now and they wouldnt budge.

Now if only we could find a 40mm spanner we might get the boiler back in action and have some hot water....
theres a paucity or decent spanner shops around the Staines area. in fact theres a lack of anything of any great interest around Staines so I dont think I will miss that town when we move on.

The neighbours however, despite their general oddness and foibles are turning into quite nice people. I just wish the marina didnt use such pokey pontoons so we have to be moored so close together.
there seems to be a few spaces appearing so if someone is looking for a no questions asked residential mooring, you may well be in luck.