Yachting Monthly Triangle Race: leg 3 - Treguier to Torquay
Welcome back for the third and final installment of the triangle story.
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| why did Barbie blush? Because the sea weed. |
I’m back, it’s Beach
Barbie reporting on behalf of Boogie Nights skippers Jayne and Hazel.
We all had a
delightfully merry time in Treguier, France.
Well, I say all, they did, not me. I didn't get so much as a sip.
Those Brittanny folks treated us so
well. Except for the French man who came and leant on me not realising I was
even there, spinning me round on my cable tie, I was facing port for some time
and I felt slightly queasy until Jayne came and set me straight again.
When we arrived it was
chill-out time. I let my hair dry in the sun, Jayne had a snooze on deck, Hazel
had a snooze in her cabin.
But soon it was back
to competitions with a rowing race. Two teams up against each other, knock out
style, with the winner through to the next round.
Jayne had high hopes
for this as she was in the final of the last triangle race rowing competition.
However it wasn’t to
be, as although they were through to the row-offs, one of the boats broke a rowlock,
meaning it was then done as a time trial, a race of truth, to decide which was
the faster crew, rather than any real combat taking place which would have
really separated the wheat from the chaff.
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| Team Katisha [bless you] beat team Dequila [you make me happy] |
Next was the race
briefing with drinks and canapés courtesy of Treguier yacht club.
Jayne in her infinite wisdom having baked a chocolate and Guinness cake on
passage to France, much to the bemusement of the other competitors, then bribed
the club president, who in turn presented both Hazel and Jayne with hand
painted mugs with the club burgee and 2014 triangle race, Treguier painted on
the bottom. The various Treguier club members who sampled the cake all seemed
to be slightly disappointed it didn’t contain “le sheet” or “le bon sheet” or
cannibals raisins. I am not sure what any of this is. I think they were hoping
for some sort of extra ingredient.
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| Jayne - she's no mug you know, a small "u"added to the burgee will make this mug truly personal |
Next there was a picnic in
the park laid on by Treguier yacht club, which by all accounts was lovely, the
two skippers said it was splendid, one enjoying the easily drinkable wine, the
other, the roast hog. Indeed seconds
were had of both items respectively.
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| team Nazca II, team Katisha, team Deydreamer and team Boogie Nights with half of team Free Spirit out of sight behind |
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| French pig. A Brittanny speciality. |
Sadly no doggy bag for me. Negotiating the
steep ramp back to the pontoon was apparently like walking off a cliff face. I
say get your stilettoes out ladies, they’re like street-style crampons. Hook
them in the gaps between slats. #practicalbarbie
 | ||
| beware returning after a few drinks, as we are level with the tops of the masts. You way wish for a zip wire and a large crash mat at the bottom. |
Earlier in the day when Jayne had
furnished the team, “Don’t mention the war” (the team comprised of a French
boat, Ninjod, a British boat, Katisha [bless you] and a German boat, Boogie
Nights) with slices of cake, she was rewarded with a return gift of two beef
and potato hotpot freeze dried expedition food pouches from Mr B of Ninjod. These were to be sampled on the return leg back to Torquay.
There was the
customary parade through the town on Tuesday night, where the crews follow
the towns traditional pipers and drummers up to the Cathedral cloisters where
yet another buffet of wines and canapés were served. Everyone noted that one
tune sounded very much like the next tune, but the towns folk seemed to be
enjoying themselves. I could still hear them from the bows of Boogie Nights
even when they were at the top of the hill in town.
On Wednesday morning, the triangle crews
did some final provisioning at the towns market which is held every week and as
afternoon approached the bon hommie and peace of Treguier was left behind, the
crews slipped their lines for one final leg and a dash back to Torquay.
Motoring in procession
down the river to the start line, there was a hefty tide running against
everyone and time was quite tight for the start.
As the figure head of
this Dehler 36 I take my job very seriously.
I see all before us
and attempt to guide both vessel and souls aboard on a safe passage.
"What nobody told me to look out for though was the French blanket weed. Zut Alors!"
We hit a big patch and
it almost stalled the engine. We went from bashing the flood tide at 3.5 knots,
down to 1 knot. The binnacle was shaking. The back end of the boat was shaking.
Jayne spun the boat
around, confusing the parade of boats behind, and started to reverse into the
flood tide to clear the propeller.
As we spun back to
face the right way, the vibration was gone and the boat speed picked up. Jayne
gave it some extra throttle just to make sure we got to the start line on time
and then handed over to Hazel so each could do their usual respective jobs of pulling lines/winching and positioning for race start.
After Jayne whinging
about being knackered before the race start last time with too much tacking
around with the large genoa up, the pair opted for a late unfurling just a
minute or so before the starting gun.
This worked nicely as
Jayne was able to pull out just enough and set it for the start and Hazel
positioned the boat well for the line using just the main sail.
But then as the gun
sounded and everyone headed across the line it was immediately apparent that
something was wrong.
Why were all of the
other boats doing 7-8 knots and Boogie Nights only 4?
Oh la la. A mass of weed on the keel. La vache!
Suddenly from being up
in the mix, we found ourselves scrabbling around at the back, being overtaken
by a Contessa 32, Katisha [bless you] and all the other usual slower class 3 boats.
Jayne hung over the
side to try and spot anything under the water but could see nothing. Not
because nothing was there, but the water was too turbulent.
Hazel steered the boat
around the first set of marks and the gap grew and grew between Boogie Nights
and the rest of the fleet.
As the final mark, the Bas Crublent,
approached before the turn for the drag race back to Blighty, Jayne asked how
long before the mark.
“1 minute” said
Hazel.
“Perfect, time to get
my camera out then!” Jayne replied.
“No! No time for that!”
Hazel sternly replied, focusing on the mark just a short distance ahead.
“There’s always time
for a quick one two! I'll just be a second, no, two seconds” Jayne exclaimed, dashing below to fetch her camera that was tucked away behind a lee-cloth.
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| Katisha, a Contessa 32 that has completed the triangle race several times. Owned by James and co-skippered by Phil. |
Boogie Nights was well
healed and Katisha [bless you] was right by us. It’s not often this classic back
marker gets any photographic attention. There was just enough time for four
shots before Jayne had to dash below, return the camera to a safe place and
jump straight on the winches, calling water on a very cheeky Charm of Rhu,
classic old wooden boat that decided to cut us up just on the mark.
I was itching to show
him my #chucknorrisBarbie moves. He was so close I could have almost stepped
aboard for a quiet word in the skippers ear with my pink Barbie nunchucks, had
my cable tie not held me fast.
I was shouting at him “we’re havin’ T-bone toniiiight!” in my best Texan accent, as he cut us up a second time when we rounded the mark. I was ready to kick some planks.
Then I heard Jayne
shout something about the anchor, I have no idea why she would want to anchor
at that point. With hindsight I'm suspecting she didn't want to anchor at all.
Anyway, suddenly lady
fortune shone from under us as the very same waves that battered my head and
threatened to severe one of my arms also battered the weed from the keel.
Hazel noted a sudden
speed increase from barely making 5 knots to just over 7 and we started to fly.
Unfortunately it was
too little too late to catch the rest of the fleet who were now triangles on
the horizon taking part in a flat out drag race north. The seas rolling in from
the east were short and lumpy. A real test of helming skills to keep the boat
pointing the right way. A real test of
stomach keeping skills it would seem for Hazel too.
The two skippers food
plan for the evening went completely awry as Hazel succumbed to mal de mer. The
cup-a-noodle Jayne had expertly followed the instructions on and prepared for
Hazel didn’t take long before they were being worn by the roller furling line.
I heard Jayne note the
furling lines new texture as she had to haul on it to reef the Genoa. Indeed,
she was rather quicker than normal to get that job over with.
“Slippery and slightly warm” she said.
The whole night was
hand steered through the nadgery seas, vexed by the long pointy wooden boat
that refused for hours and hours to move to its rightful place behind us and
the other class 3 boats that somehow just wouldn’t reel in no matter how hard my two skippers tried.
90 miles and just over
13 exhausting hours later we crossed the finishing co-ordinates near Torquay.
Jayne counted down the
latitude and longitude until their mark, while Hazel worked the helm in a fog of
tiredness and post mal de mer fatigue. We finished at 0617 in the morning.
Motoring into Torquay
town quay, Boogie Nights was quickly moored alongside Deydreamer, the other
Dehler 36 skippered by Clair Reed and Luke Lazell. They finished just 17
minutes ahead.
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| Deydreamer and Boogie Nights, two Essex boats side by side |
The Boogie Nights pair
quickly tidied the sails away and made a few motions to tidy a few other things
before catching up on sleep.
As Hazel scooped the
other half of her unexpectedly rejected cup-a-noodle out of the kitchen sink
strainer, Jayne, slightly delirious with fatigue and from too many energy
drinks, ginger nut biscuits and wine gums, leaned in from the cockpit,
“hey, Hazel, guess
what?”
Hazel looked over at
Jayne in the entrance to the companionway with a frown, seeing Jaynes' silly grin “what?”
“we’ve completed the
triangle race! It’s chuffing done! How about that then?” Jayne said with a little too much enthusiasm for that time of day.
“yeah, I’ll think
about that once I’ve had a sleep. I’m going to bed”
As you may know, Beach
Barbie also known as #beargrylsbarbie and #chucknorrisbarbie is the figure head
of Boogie Nights.
Some may scoff at the
premise of having a figure head in a modern world.
But scoff ye not.
She’s a highly
accomplished and useful piece of the machine.
Here Jayne takes us
through various other uses for a Barbie, because when the chips are down,
sometimes what you need is a creative mind and a sense of humour.
Anti creaking and fair
lead.
When you want to stop
chafe from ropes?
No problem.
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| #rockhard-absbarbie |
When your brand new Selden
gas strut vang collapses and the boom goes crashing down, what you need is
support.
No problem
 |
| #pushupbarbie |
If you lose a winch
handle over the side?
No problem
 |
| #crankybarbie |
When the belt breaks
on the autopilot or you just need another pair of hands on helm?
No problem
 |
| #chinupsbarbie |
Need some help
tweaking the mainsheet?
No problem
 |
| #snakecharmerbarbie |
Lost your fancy brass dividers in
an unfortunate incident with a giant sea squid?
No problem
 |
| #longlegsbarbie |
What we ate on passage
Beef rendang and rice ,
cooked/preprepared by Hazel at home, expertly heated by Jayne
Chicken tagine and
couscous, cooked/preprepared by Hazel at home, expertly heated by Jayne
Chicken fried rice,
cooked/preprepared by Hazel at home, expertly heated by Jayne
Veal in port and
stilton with vegetables, cooked/preprepared by Hazel at home, expertly heated by Jayne
Venison casserole,
Stowaways food, expertly heated by Jayne
Coq au vin, Stowawaysfood, expertly heated by Jayne
Honey and mustard pork
chops and potato gratin, cunningly provisioned by Hazel in Ireland, expertly heated by
Jayne
Breaded chicken with
mash and baked beans, expertly cooked/warmed up by Jayne
Maltesers, inhaled by
Jayne. Hazel didn’t get a look in.
Wine gums, quietly saw
Jayne through each night watch.
Ginger nut biscuits,
quietly saw Hazel through each night watch
Cupasoup, a welcome
warmer for Hazel on night watch
Rocky bars, brought up
to the cockpit at each watch changeover and shared.
Lots of crisps,
brought up to the cockpit at each watch changeover and shared.
In port we ate mostly
on the boat and most of this was cooked by Hazel as Jayne generally had her head
in the clouds and would forget to eat otherwise.
And so the final credits
Thanks to
Beach Barbie
for expertly guiding Boogie Nights through its first Triangle Race.
To Yoda for his all
seeing aft facing eye and wise words
To Marilyn aka Sugar Kane
for always smiling whatever the sea or wind conditions
To the silly sausage
for padding out the lee bunk
To the charity knitted
donkey for providing amusement and comfort to one half of the Resolute (maxi
1000) crew.
To Obi Wan for feeling
the force
And to Sully for his
scary feet scary feet scary feet.
And to the real humans, Terry Kinch, Rick Bothamly, Ian Gray of Lonton and Gray sails, Chris and Christine Toyne of Mintdale Engineering who all helped pull the boat together in time for the start and without whom none of this would have been possible.
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