Planet of the Crepes

Crepe expectations

The Crepe Escape...

You can't mistake the fact that as a displaced northerner, an immigrant of sorts, I bring with me certain levels of sophistication not fully appreciated in the south.

1. Sauce must accompany everything edible. Especially gravy.
2. The sequence of meals in the day : breakfast, dinner and tea with midnight snack if you're feeling frisky.
3. Yorkshire puddings are both savoury and sweet. (gravy followed by syrup)
4. There's no such thing as too many Yorkshires. But it is possible to not have enough gravy.
5. Same applies to roast potatoes.
6. The recipe to make batter mix is handed down through families and isn't generally written anywhere other than the Be-Ro book. It is always done by eye and sometimes a quick phone call to the custodian of the book is needed for reassurance.
7. The spoon you use to measure your flour out with, will be the same spoon used earlier in the day as a tyre lever for your pushbike when you repaired that puncture on the kitchen floor.
8. Boaters will most likely have used the crepe flipper blade/spatula at some point for scraping the hull to remove weed. 
9. You will play with your food and make sculptures out of it. 

A small crevice shaped mountain. 

HOT STUFF

Crepe fear...

To make a good Yorkshire you need an oven that will reliably get up to 220 degrees temperature. Boat ovens, particularly the one on board Boogie Nights can manage 180 on a good day.

This leaves a us with a bit of a problem. Yorkshires don't rise unless the oven is hot enough and there's something slightly shameful about unrisen puds.

This one rose to the occasion, but you'll need a reliable hot oven for that.

Waffles are made from the same stuff too, but I don't have waffle irons and have been known to go to fairly extra ordinary lengths to get a decent waffle.

waffle ever next?

How to deal with the unnatural urge to make batter mix on a weekly basis?

Behold the Flat Yorkshire. Known by the  French as a crêpe or in places less Gallic as flapcake.

I said FLAPCAKE.

>>

crepe - small very thin pancake crape, French pancake battercake, flannel cake, flannel-cake, flapcake, flapjack, hot cake, hotcake, pancake, griddlecake - a flat cake of thin batter fried on both sides on a griddle

They're not just for Mardi Gras

Crepe Cod...

Using simple ingredients with a wide range of accompaniment, they make an awesomely versatile meal on a yacht. They can be rolled up and eaten single handed, or lavishly decorated for a sit down with knife and fork. You can fill them with savoury stuff like cheese and ham, or make them sweet with sugar, syrup, orange juice, lemon juice or Nutella/chocolate sauce or spread. Chuck in some banana for a slow release energy that will last hours.

If you fancy making some, here's how I do it:

You're going to need a jug, a balloon whisk, a big spoon, one or two eggs, roughly 8 heaped spoons of plain flour and something close to a pint of milk.

Eight tablespoons of plain flour. Heaped a bit like this.
I put mine through a little sifting cup to make sure the flour is not lumpy,
but you don't have to do that. 

I keep my plain flour in this sealed plastic tub.
This has withstood rolling around on the floor in saltwater during the summer when
a drawer flew out and emptied its contents all over a very sloshy wet floor. 

You can use any milk you fancy. I have long life soya milk at the moment,
but cow juice is what most people chuck in theirs. You'll be needing around 1 pint and a bit of this stuff. 

Eggs come in a variety of sizes. One decent sized duck egg is plenty.
But you might want to use two small chicken eggs if that's what you've got.
You know what they say about a handful? Well, use your palm for guidance.
If you're thinking of using quails eggs, don't be a twat, give yourself a good talking to. 

The most practical and speedy way to make a batter mix is with a small electric hand whisk.
This one works off the boats inverter no problem at all. Otherwise you'll have to use the balloon whisk and give it a proper piece of your wrist action for at least 5 minutes.  

The mix should dribble off your whisk freely. No cleggy bits should be hanging on to the wires.
I use a 2 pint sized jug so I can get everything in without making a mess.  

Use a decent pan. Something substantial with a bit of weight to it.
Thin cheap pans are false economy. You'll burn stuff instead of cook it.
This crepe pan is one of the smallest on the market from Le Creuset.
Costs around £50 but as it's in near daily use, worth every penny. 

The burner is set near to the edge of my stove meaning it's off centre
when I put a frying or crepe pan over it.  The far edge takes longer to cook and
I sometimes rotate the pan to get a more even heat. 

Beware of the "crepe in pan" stage. If you are sailing and the weather is lively, there's a chance your crepe could slide out of the pan whilst on the stove if the nonstick is in good condition. No need to oil the pan, it's slippery enough as it is.

Crepe Expectations...

This is the correct expression for greeting your crepe.
This one has adequate amount of sauce befitting a Northern lass.