Boogie Nights

"Ever wondered what it's like to live the dream, with damp elbows and a feint whiff of your close friend's toilet habits? This is a yachting blog with a difference, as we go on a journey of discovery, a journey of stupid ideas and ridiculous adventures. The daily commute will never look the same again."

bienvenu, hola, ciao!

18 September 2007

there's.... something on the roof

there's.... something on the roof
entry Sep 18 2007, 08:39 PM
It's a bit parky out today. I know it's getting cold when, as a motorbiker I decide that 75mph is quite fast enough, compared with the usual 110-130 I like to cruise at. (on private roads)

So I wrapped up warm, thin layers and lot of them for a track day at Brands Hatch motor racing circuit in Kent. It's only 45 miles down the road so it's easy to get to via the motorway. I arrived like a choc-ice. I looked nicely wrapped from the outside but inside I was frozen. And that's the way I've stayed all day. How is it possible to sweat through putting some effort in to riding the bike on the track but be cold at the same time?

I arrived back early at the boat and took Mr B for a walk up to the next lock, I don't often do that walking thing but I thought maybe a brisk walk might warm me up after an equally freezing ride home. No. still fuggin cold. My finger nails hurt from being hot-cold-hot-cold so many times today.

There was no choice, I had to light the fire. I am officially nesh. I've lived in the south for nigh on eight years now and I can't get past September before I'm putting the heating on.
However before lighting the fire I've had to find a new home for the 30 odd reels of Super8mm cine film. What I omitted to think about was moving the projector far enough away from the heat and it took me a good 20 minutes before I noticed a distinct smell of hot cardboard box... tit

I'm all toasty and warm inside now, ( the projector is now sitting in the hallway and I must remember to step over it later) although I felt instantly tired as soon as I got that warm glow heating up my face cheeks. Is that the fact it's been a hard day on track or could it be carbon monoxide poisoning from a fire that's not been lit in months? hmmm, well I don't have a headache and otherwise I feel fine. So I'm going to hazard a guess that I'm just knackered.

Then, there was a noise. On the roof... sounds like an animal. could be a fox, a squirrel, a cat, a mentallist from the local secret asylum/drugs testing laboratory.... For a moment I thought, "shit, I'm not sure I enjoy being on my own so much", thinking what a whimp I was the other night with the annoying overly close moored boat I decided to be a man not a mouse....
Picked up the torch and ran out army style, if you run at them screaming that's usually enough of a shock to stop them in their tracks for a moment giving you the tactical advantage of getting in there first or running away. Exiting my boat to the sound of "DIE you evil spawn of satan"
was clearly enough to make whatever it was on the roof turn invisible with shock (or hide under the dinghy). It's probably still up there scared to come out in case I bludgeon it to death with a dynamo torch... yes, that's right I forgot to take a proper weapon.

All mouth, still no trousers.

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