Defeat, Deelbows and Dediesel

A freshly un-silenced Disco Barbie tells the story of the third and final leg of the 2016 Triangle Race.

Yo suckers, I've got her hat...

As we finally tied up alongside James Jermain's shiny new Catamaran, Echo on 23rd June in Torquay, 11 days after our departure and with an additional 950Nm on the trip meter, there was no jubilation, no elation, no high fives or fist pumps. There was just a nagging feeling of failure and a distinct whiff of diesel.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The departure out of Treguier river was beautiful with sunshine and a very gentle breeze.

The start was serene and the fleet wafted gracefully around the place and eventually over the start line.
The wind was once again on the nose, but this time less of it.

committee boat

The usual 10 or 12 hours of rapid crossing from Treguier to Torquay (it's about 90 nautical miles) would be replaced with a slow upwind battle.
Boogie Nights isn't equipped for light wind sailing particularly. We don't have a fancy light airs code wotsitorother and we don't have a massive genoa (no never met her)
The "ickle" jib, called Mistress Jibima we've got is perfect for bashing away across the Irish sea into 30 knots of snot, but not so perfect for this wind seeking.

Big Doris with Anthony and Yves one and only leg of the 2016 Triangle race. But would make it count as they would go on to win the class 1 race to Torquay. Well sailed team Big Doris. 

Jaldi, a J105  owned and skippered by Mary Sturgess had a slightly disappointing race in terms of results. The race has been won previously by two J105's but this year it was a race for the heavier cruisers.

After an expensive beasting across the Irish sea, a crash gybe run to France, we now faced an upwind, no wind run across the channel back to Torquay.



It was slow, infuriating and soul sapping. I nearly cut my own cable tie. I was ready to give up. Except I float and I'd probably get picked up again as they slowly drifted by.

We had a magnicifent sunset though and this kept spirits up for a while.

Jayne taking a picture of Sue taking a picture

France is behind us but where is Torquay?

60 miles and 24 hours into the crossing we hit a wind hole. We parked up for a little while. I felt a bit daft really holding my arms in the air like I'm commanded to do, when we weren't actually moving.

Jayne looked at Sue.
Sue looked at Jayne.
Jayne looked at the chart again. Then she looked at the ais radar screen.
Then back at the chart plotter. The skippers concurred. There was absolutely nothing to be gained from sitting out in the channel, uncompetitive, at the back of the fleet.

It was with deep sighs and resignation of defeat that the engine was turned on. The time taken and then my plastic, slightly sun damaged nose was pointed directly at Torquay, 30 miles away. Arms aloft. Come on, there's at least drinks to be had in port.

Jayne went for a lay down but couldn't sleep despite looking tired.
So she got up and gave Sue a much needed break after both had had a sleepless night before. At the very moment they swapped places, the engine note dipped dramatically. Then recovered.
Jayne nursed the throttle for the next hour as the calm sea state allowed good straight line progress.

As we neared Torbay, the dolphins jumped and played all around us. I'd sent out a message (the ability to speak dolphin is passed from one figure head to the next thankfully) for them to come and cheer Jayne up. Dolphins always make her smile.



And then the engine finally conked out.

Five miles from Torquay.

Sue jumped on the helm and got us moving under sail again while Jayne started to pull things apart around the engine. Pulling out the box of engine spares and making ready with spare diesel.
Priming the engine has always been difficult.

pineapple juice? No, it's diesel. 

Jayne may have had a helping hand.
Interesting hat you got there Grace...

Sue exclaimed it was perhaps the best bit of sailing in two weeks!
Meanwhile, Jayne had her sleeves rolled up, filters were swapped out, dodgy looking diesel was bled off from the diesel trap and all air voids filled with the use of a jug and a steady hand.
The engine refused to prime though and the lift pump wasn't lifting the fuel into the system as it should.

After exhausting all of her knowledge at the time, Jayne phoned through to race control to see if anyone had a rib or motorboat that could be used for a tow.
A fellow Triangleur was press ganged into helping.
After a scrappy and ill thought out plan of entry which involved a quick lesson for a long keeler on how fin keels work, and some fraught moments that had me ready to sacrifice myself to fend us off a sea wall, we somehow ended up tied up alongside Echo, James Jermain's new catamaran.

That was the end of the Triangle 2016 for Boogie Nights. Jayne sat in the cockpit, head in hands utterly dejected, silently and mentally adding up the financial and emotional cost of the past two weeks and wondering how to explain quitting a race.

But then the news broke for the final results and it couldn't have been better.
Amylou, a Maxi 1100 won the race overall. Having beaten off out-out race boats, the Maxi had raced with all the comforts of home which include scatter cushions, an electric kettle, a cockpit table and cockpit tent as well as hosting several drinks parties at each of the stop overs.

first place: Amylou skippered by Gary and Russell. 

But the good news kept coming. Katisha, the Contessa 32, which is the oldest and lowest IRC rated boat in the fleet for several race editions, won their category on each of the legs, giving them the treble and third in the race overall with an X-34 called eXehibitionist sandwiched in 2nd overall.

This is what the triangle race is all about.

for a full list of the results you can look here: http://results.rtyc.org/triangle/results/tri2016os.html

Despite the battering, despite the cost of the repairs, Boogie Nights will be back for another Triangle Race.

Meanwhile, there's a small matter of a sorting that engine out...

thanks to the two narrators of the story, Disco Barbie and Grace O'Mally.

two ship rivals, the figure head and the mischief maker. 

and the two skippers for taking good care of the boat and themselves in difficult conditions. 

Inna Flapp and Clara Onnatopp, later subbed for Lynn Goodhead. 

an easy way to silence a Barbie?
Her elbows don't bend. 

Tres Gruyère bound!

Hello there, it's Grace O'Mally, reporting once again, this time for the second leg of the Triangle race 2016

Kinsale to Treguier (leg 2)

here, have an anti barf tablet. May cause hallucinations, a skin rash and a dry mouth. 

Downwind sailing to France? Anyone fancy that? It's all very well if your boat is set up for spinnakering like a pro. Boogie Nights is equipped with a spinnaker and a pole and some ropes and stuff. I've had a look at them and they're not all that. In fact you've gotta be pretty brave to use that set up because it all ends up going arseways pretty quickly... 

But you know what I say? I say, aye it'll be grand. Give it a go. What you got to lose other than your mast or your limbs? Get on with ya. 

Jayne has a fairly strict rule it's not used in anything more than 15kts of wind. Everyone agreed that it's a pretty good rule. That is, if by everyone we mean Jayne. Sue wasn't keen at all. 

On the start line we had around 20kts and most boats were going for the big sails hoist. Sue looked on with mild mannered dismay as Jayne put the spinnaker pole in the ready position and got the Spinnaker bag clipped to the rail. For "just in case" she said. 

the faces of two soon-to-be-shagged-out knackered skippers after hand steering nonstop for over two days. 

Resolute had similar ideas to get away from the start line and build some distance on white sails before hoisting their spinnaker

Anyways, we set off on white sails until the wind died down. Then when everyone had fekked off up ahead with their fancy coloured flappy things, Jayne hoisted the red white and blue thing and then they spent the next few hours faffing trying to get it to fly. 

Which it wouldn't. Though it must have done something good because the other boats weren't really getting any further ahead for a long time.

Until Jayne decided to drop it and try again later. Which went more literally than she intended as the halyard slipped off the mast winch accidentally and nearly launched Jayne skywards.
We ended up with a nice colourful sea anchor around the bow and under it. Barbie caught it in her teeth, risked severing her cable tie she did.  

Sue's training and experience in sail retrieval came in very handy as was Jaynes ability to hove-to in a split second. They rapidly exchanged ends of the boat. Sue dashed forward from helm to bow and Jayne jumped on the wheel and sorted out the various sheets before running forward to join Sue to get the sail back on deck. 

The wet spinnaker was dumped through a forward hatch, inspected and repacked quickly by Jayne while she muttered expletives. No damage luckily, only a dented pride. 

The boats ahead had visibly shrunk in size in the short time Boogie Nights was parked for the retrieval.

We white sailed through the night, gybing every couple of hours or so. The basic model of autopilot on Boogie Nights can't cope with downwind sailing very well. So they took turns, hand steering. 2 on, 2 off. Poor buggers. 

It was extremely tiring. Well, it was for them, not for me. I'm only 7 inches tall with my hat on and can't reach the wheel. Has anyone seen my hat?
Despite having the boom brake pulled to maximum tension, we still crash gybed countless times. The brake took the sting out of the gybes, but not the frustration from whoever was helming at the time. How many times could we crash gybe before something would break?

"How many times could either woman cope with the failure to reach the Minstrels or wine gums before crash gybing again?" 

are we nearly there yet?

Another day, another night of sailing without a single AIS signal or boat in sight. It was morale sapping for the two not to have anyone to spar or race with. (other than each other to the ginger biscuits)

Another unsuccessful attempt to fly the spinnaker was made at lunch time as we passed the shipping lanes,  but a much more successful drop, retrieval and repack, we were back to white sails again. At least the red, white and blue was dry now.

The Irish food that Sue had stocked up on was going down a treat. Another casserole with Irish beef and then the pizza. Oh the Pizza.
It was actually more along the lines of Cheese with cheese and a pizza base hidden within it.
When they were making the pizza back at the little shop in Kinsale, Aoife there shouted to her mate Nell,

"hey Nell, can ya put some cheese on that batch of pizzas?" 

"Aye I did." 

"Well, couldya put a bit more on?"  

"Aye I will. "  

"Make sure there's plenty on there."  

"OK I put some cheese on the cheese"  

"just stick a bit more on, just to be sure like. We can't have 'em thinking we scrimped on the cheese."

Artists impression of Irish pizza. It caused a local shortage of cheese.  

Image courtesy of http://dudefoods.com/

Sue and Jayne pondered the risks of becoming cheese-bound as they took turns to eat the entirely cheese based food from their dog bowls. The conversation took a turn for the abstract as Jayne cast a final piece of cheese overboard and pondered the possibility of a dolphin becoming cheese-bound.
Sue suggested that it might be similar to a petrified effect that can only be counteracted by looking at things through a mirror and not directly at it...

I'm going to leave this conversation here.
They had been hand steering for quite some time and that was A LOT of cheese.

No word from Barbie on the matter. I'm surprised, I thought she was a fan of dolphins. And cheese.

After another exhausting night of hand steering and crash gybing, we emerged the other side of darkness to be greeted with the scent of land.
The wind shifted and finally a brief spell of autopilot to give Jayne a welcome rest while Sue was off-watch in her bunk. 

Jayne took the opportunity as the sun rose and the invisible crew was steering, to make some brioche toast for breakfast, followed by a nail manicure and a cucumber face mask pamper time in the cockpit. 

Nobody said that yacht racing absolutely HAS to be without home comforts and little luxuries right?

That's the beauty about racing your house. Inevitably something slightly odd will be left in the cupboard that isn't strictly speaking a necessity for racing. 

evidence of "lady times"

After a morning into early afternoon of sailing fast and furious, the wind gradually started to die as Boogie Nights approached the finish line. The tide was due to turn any time. 

It was like the two women were cheering a football match with odd random outbursts of "c'MON!" as they willed the boat on and the wind not to die and it couldn't have been more perfect. Sue clocked our finish time on the mark, we were on the end of slack water and the tide was just turning.

Then arrived the two French Customs dolphins, named Eeeheeehh eee Eeee ee and Ee Eeeeheeeh eep ee, (roughly translated that's Davide and Davidette) escorting all yachts in through the rocky entrance to the River. They swam alongside, almost touching the boat sometimes they were so close. Jayne stood helming but leaning over the side to get a better view. What she got was a face full of Davidettes blow-hole. Oh yes, and in public too. Nothing to declare. Nothing to see here. Move along. 

Our journey down the river was easy and there was finally a little time to look around and enjoy the scenery.

On arrival both ladies were quickly showered and ushered onto Amylou which was resplendent with its cockpit tent. How many people can fit into the cockpit of a Maxi 1100? Somewhere in the region of 13 people enjoyed the cosy space. Not once, but two nights in a row. It's always a good night when you see the night turn to day again. 

Now this is where it all gets a bit photographic and less wordy...

Gary (the owner of Amylou - on the left) was top host, along with his co-skipper

Russell (co-skipper of Amylou - on the right)
Both chaps not only sailed like gentlemen, but also made sure to call their wives as they picked up a signal via the Scillies on their way to their 4th place in France. 

Sue sits next to James (owner/skipper of Katisha, a Contessa 32 came first in class 3 in leg 1 and 2.)  

evidence of drinking past and drinking future.

evidence of the benefits  of cockpit tables, even when racing. 

team Resolute Dave and Gary, are just taking a little power nap at the back of Amylou.
They're like coiled springs though. 

There was the usual parade through the town, up to the cloisters in the Cathedral. And the ladies got the jet wash and dremmel out. They scrubbed up alright.

You wouldn't believe how much cheese these women can eat. 

Team Arrow, they came prepared for the parade. 

Alan?   Alan?   Alan?   Alan?   Alan?   Al?   Al?   Al?   Steve?   Steve?   Steve?   Steve? If you were part of the triangle fleet that were kept awake by the revellers shouting the above, then you need to see the following video link. If you heard anyone shouting Dave! Gary! Phil! etc, that was most likely Jayne, or Sue, or Phil, or Gary, or Dave, or possibly Russell, maybe someone else...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFhNJ8ozDBk

There's a bit of weed in this river. Some boats were hemp'd in... I said they were hemp'd in...
weed...I'll get my coat.  

Anthony and Yves of Big Doris were one of the nine boats that didn't make it over to Ireland due to the weather, so they came straight to France and rejoined the race from there. Anthony has taken part in every race since 1998 and still can't pose for a photo. 

Some small adjustments to his chartered boat, A J109 called Bonfire 4. Gaffer tape has many uses, it's not just for kidnappings and stopping water leaks on hatches.  

Mister Lucky, an Australian entry in the race and much welcomed by the fleet. 

Sue has lost her parrot and her wooden leg. If you see either, please get in touch.  

the fleet are finally back together in France, minus a couple of casualties who remained elsewhere to make repairs. 

fellow triangleurs discuss techniques for catching Sues parrot. 

Team Katisha (James and Phil on a Contessa 32) practice their gangster poses and acceptance speeches as they aim for the hat trick, hoping to win three out of three in their class.

The river that leads to Treguier is pretty with interesting houses and a real sense of history on the banks.

Sue googles "Dolphin petrification through cheese consumption" as we head out of Treguier for the start of the next leg.

er...
has anyone seen the figure head?

abandoned cable tie? Has anyone seen Barbie?

to be continued...

Neptune and his gift

King Neptune and his horses

It has to be said that sailing has its ups and downs. 

continued from blog post: Don't stop me now... and the slightly sweary addendum, a word of advice.  

Sometimes things happen in quick succession that takes us from the deepest low to the highest high.

Don't stop me now...

From January to August 2015 I was working on a project, let's call it "Netty Betty" or perhaps more fittingly it should be called my "nête noire" 

It was a project of such magnitude that I cleared the dining table.

It's perfectly reasonable to practice the end of the project before it actually ends right?

Release the hounds

Disco Barbie here, newest character aboard Boogie Nights reporting in for duty.

This is my first blog post so please forgive me if I ramble on a bit.

I'm expected to blog about boat life shenanigans when there's more than one person on board or when Jayne is feeling like talking in third person like a rock star.

I was brought on board in May. Though I wasn't immediately aware of my new elevated status in life when I arrived. 

Champagne Sailing

I've been stuck inside working on a project, which means I have been viewing the world through a small vertical window. 

I play games, like spot the mast and guess the motorboat by the sights through my skyward facing hatch and the sounds that permeate through the water and reverberate inside Boogie Nights.

thus: I have become a dab hand at recognising boats by their masts, spreaders and the tone of their engine.

One set of spreaders looks like this:

pic courtesy, Paul Brant of http://ninjod.org/

Let the dog see the rabbit

 Rabbits? Did someone say rabbits?

The marina is slowly waking up again and those boats that have lain patiently, empty and cold all winter are starting to see the return of their owners and masters. 

An open letter to Mattel: Paws for thought.

 

massive feet

 

Dear Mattel, 

You may recall me from our brief correspondence during the summer, when I wrote to your fine company, requesting assistance to address an issue I had with my Beach Barbie. You may also recall she lost her shell themed headware after an encounter with a particularly aggressive French wave during her intrepid duty as figure head on a yacht taking part in an offshore race.

Well, after that brief discussion where you failed to display any sense of humour, ability or desire to assist me with Barbie sized headware. I solved that issue myself, thankfully, and she now sports a rather hefty but entirely practical crown of cable ties.
However, I was thankful for your speedy, though ineffectual response, so I thought I might try again.

Now, I am writing to you this time not to ask for help with headware but to clarify an issue I have with Beach Barbie's leg ends.